Psychedelics helped him deal with the anxiety of a terminal illness, but getting to them was a long, strange journey

Pete Pearson had three reasons to try psilocybin, or “magic mushrooms,” for the first time at age 75.

“I hope it keeps me from losing my mind,” he told CBC. white coat, black art. “I hope it will save me from being a complete jerk to everyone and being so hard on Susie” – his wife.

Pete was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF), a progressive lung disease that makes breathing difficult. The average survival estimate is three to five years and he has already exceeded it. Now, physical limitations were giving rise to a toxic mixture of anxiety, frustration and depression known as “end-of-life crisis.”

“I feel very useless,” he told CBC’s Dr. Brian Goldman when they first spoke in October 2024.

So, at approximately 11 a.m. on January 3, 2026, Pete drank tea containing five grams of natural psilocybin. He hid in bed in the front room of his home in Moorestown, Ontario, overlooking the St. Clair River.

Eight hours later, he emerged from his psychedelic trip with a new lease on all that time he had left. “I can’t believe how much my outlook on life has changed.”

And worry? “He’s gone.”

But that “complete transformation”, as Pete describes it, occurred only after a futile attempt to access psilocybin legally through Health Canada – a process that lasted the better part of a year and caused Pete’s already debilitating anxiety to go “through the roof”. In the end, he got psilocybin illegally for about $40.

A painful path to psychedelics

By the summer of 2024, Pete had been living with IPF for six years. The more he had to fight for every breath, the less he was able to do the things that gave his life meaning – like spending time with his children and grandchildren.

Blake Pearson, himself a family physician, says that while his father’s shortness of breath is “distressing enough” on its own, when layered on top of his anxiety, “it was really getting out of control.”

Pete had read about psilocybin and thought it might help.

Throughout the summer, he and Blake worked with their family doctor to apply for legal access to psilocybin through Health Canada. special access program (SAP), which provides health care providers access to medications that are not otherwise approved in the country when conventional treatments fail or are not appropriate.

They were not prepared for how difficult the application process would be, but thought the SAP application would be approved after it was filed in October 2024.

He also began sessions with a psychotherapist trained in “psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy”, which refers to a before and after psychedelic trip to give the experience greater impact.

Pete hoped his “trip” would take place in early 2025 with Health Canada approval.

waiting in vain

Instead, after several back-and-forths with the agency, Pete and his doctor were sent a 14-page denial letter in July 2025.

Peet shared the letter with CBC. Health Canada’s main reasons for the decision were that “the request does not meet the SAP’s criteria for emergency treatment,” and “there are several marketed conventional and other therapeutic options available.”

But Pete had already tried at least three different medications for depression and anxiety, as well as psychotherapy and meditation – all of which were recorded in the SAP application.

“My interpretation of the 14 pages is essentially, ‘You’re not sick enough,'” Blake said. “To me, that’s absurd, because when is the right time to process your death? Is it six months before you die? Four months?”

According to Health Canada data, 525 requests were made for psilocybin through the Special Access Program from January 1, 2022, to February 25, 2026. Of those, 338 (64 percent) were authorized. The majority of authorized requests were for depression, and 28 percent were specifically for end-of-life distress.

Health Canada says in a statement to CBC It has “great compassion and understanding for individuals suffering from end-of-life anxiety and depression.”

MAiD approved in 3 weeks

Pete says the nine-month wait “ruined me.”

“My condition was getting worse and worse, panic attacks and everything, because of these dummies at Health Canada.”

My condition was getting worse and worse, panic attacks and all, because of these dummies at Health Canada.– Pete Pearson

Pete’s worsening physical symptoms and mental distress led him to apply for MAiD in early 2025, after he said his doctors told him that dying from IPF was “the worst way you can do it – just gasping for air.”

That application was approved in three weeks. MAiD and Health Canada’s SAPs are governed under different legal and clinical criteria.

Still, when he found out, Pete says he couldn’t believe he spent a year fighting the government for trying psilocybin “and then they say ‘We can kill you faster.’ ”

Psychedelics ‘aren’t ready for prime time,’ psychiatrist says.

Dr. Joshua Rosenblatt, a psychiatrist at the University Health Network in Toronto, applied for SAP access to psilocybin for his patients so frequently that Health Canada recommended he start a clinical trial. So he did the same.

Result, Published in 2024showed that psilocybin had significant antidepressant effects when combined with psychotherapy. Now, they have seven different clinical trials ongoing for psilocybin and depression – all federally funded.

Rosenblatt led Canada First National Consensus Statement On psychedelics in 2022, which he says is “very clear” that “they’re not ready for prime time yet.”

Although millions in funding for trials like his are moving psilocybin in that direction, Rosenblatt says it should not be used to treat people with depression or at the end of life “until we have more evidence.”

Although he acknowledges that psilocybin is readily available, he does not advise patients to use it on their own “due to its unpredictable nature.”

In his clinical trials, Rosenblatt says side effects occur almost 100 percent of the time, mostly during the actual psychedelic treatment or “trip.”

Physical symptoms include changes in body temperature, nausea, shortness of breath, and increased blood pressure, while psychological side effects include increased anxiety, panic, fear, and even suicide.

That’s why Rosenblatt says it’s essential that a mental health professional be present. help.

Pete’s eventful journey

On the morning of January 3, Pete’s psychiatrist and an additional carer arrived at his home to treat him where he made and drank tea made from mushrooms he had purchased.

Next, the therapist and caregiver helped him to the bathroom because “the floor was shaking,” as Pete recalls. He also recorded the entire journey and made a transcript that he could read later.

Pete’s eight-hour journey was a powerful recounting of his life. He visited with his entire family, including his late parents and favorite grandmother, as well as childhood neighbors and friends. But most meaningfully, he also saw his late son Andrew, who died in infancy.

Throughout the trip, Pete also repeated the phrase “let it go”.

“It meant all my ugliness, all the world teasing me and, you know, ‘Poor Pete, you useless son of a gun, I can’t do anything,'” she explained. “I was trying to get all those bad things out of me.”

Pete’s wife, Susan, was “shocked” to see how effective it was. “He has had no symptoms of depression since then.”

Blake wishes his father had had this experience sooner, but knowing that it brought him comfort and peace was “the best gift ever.”

enjoying the little things

Pete had a follow-up session with his psychiatrist several weeks after his treatment, where they discussed what happened. Neither of them think that another psilocybin treatment is necessary.

These days, Pete says he’s enjoying what he can do, not cursing what he can’t.

“I can’t believe how good I feel being this sick person who’s going to die.”

Now that his end-of-life issues have been resolved, Pete still intends to use MAiD when his breathing difficulties become too much to bear.

But for now, he says that thanks to psilocybin, “I’m back in the groove, so I hope I can stay there as long as I can.”