Veteran lyricist and writer Javed Akhtar recently shared his candid thoughts about marriage and his relationship with actor Shabana Azmi. Speaking on Barkha Dutt’s Mojo Story, Javed delved into the dynamics of their bond, emphasizing mutual respect over societal constructs of marriage.
“Actually, we are hardly married. We are friends,” Javed said, underscoring the importance of friendship in a successful relationship. Questioning the institution of marriage itself, he remarked, “Shaadi-waadi toh bekaar kaam hai (The concept of marriage is nonsense). It’s a centuries old tradition, it’s a stone that has been rolled down mountains for centuries. And as it was coming down the hill, it has collected a lot of moss, a lot of garbage and muck…”
Javed elaborated on the evolving meanings of words like “wife” and “husband,” suggesting a need to strip away these labels. Instead, he advocates for a relationship based on equality and understanding. “Two people, irrespective of their gender, how can they live happily together? It needs mutual respect, mutual consideration, it needs giving space to each other,” he said.
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The veteran writer spoke about the importance of treating each partner in a relationship as an equal, with their own dreams and ambitions. He said a happy relationship is simple: both people need to be happy and respect each other. He added that love without respect isn’t real love and pointed out that being with an independent person, who has their own opinions and goals, might not always be easy. However, he stressed that it’s important to understand that a partner is not someone’s property or servant, but an equal.
Earlier, Javed Akhtar touched upon his past marriage to Honey Irani, which ended under difficult circumstances when he became involved with Shabana Azmi. Speaking in the Prime Video series Angry Young Men, he expressed deep regret about the pain he caused Honey. “She is the only person in the world towards whom I feel guilty. Sixty-seventy percent responsibility lies on my shoulders for the failure of that marriage. If I had as much understanding as I have today, perhaps things would not have gone wrong.”
Javed Akhtar and Shabana Azmi tied the knot in 1984, and their marriage has been a testament to their enduring friendship and respect for each other.