I thought I understood what animal testing meant until I brought home a former lab dog.
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This first-person column is written by Nives Ilic, an animal justice activist based in Ottawa. For more information about first person stories, see FAQ.
The first night Mac slept in my arms, I barely moved.
He was so small that he fit into the space between my chest and my arm, his body so clingy as if he feared that if he relaxed his grip something would snatch him away. I stayed awake, afraid that if I moved, I’d wake her up—or worse, scare her.
Mack spent the first six years of his life in a laboratory.
I thought I knew what that meant. I have been involved in animal advocacy for years, fostering and adopting homeless animals and even visiting slaughterhouses to provide water and comfort to animals about to be killed. I believed I was prepared for what it would mean to bring a former research dog into my home. I was not there.
Last year, I became deeply involved in a campaign with Animal Justice Two whistleblowers revealed experiments on dogs At St. Joseph’s Hospital in London, Ontario – experiments in which dogs were forced to endure hours of heart attacks before being killed. I Joined the procession with other advocatesCalled on the hospital to end its experiments and helped shed light on what was happening behind closed doors. The public anger was so intense that Hospital closed its dog lab In August 2025.
Learning about the suffering these animals endured, and the way communities came together to protect them, I felt a mixture of sadness and hope – and a new urgency to help animals experiencing the same fate.
Around the same time, I got approved as a foster mom with The Beagle Alliance, a rescue program dedicated to rehabilitating dogs from labs.
In October, a few months later, I drove back from Ottawa to London to pick up Mac, one of 10 former research dogs rescued from another lab. All I knew was that I was chosen to adopt one of the dogs. I didn’t even know Mac’s name before I saw him in his crate.
Because of non-disclosure agreements that rescue groups are required to sign, I will never know which lab Mac was from or what tests were performed on him. Before taking him home, I signed a contract stating that dogs like Mac can exhibit symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and fear-based behavior. I imagined what laboratory animals often endure – restraints, force-feeding substances, injections or interruptions in the medical experiments exposed at St. Joseph’s Hospital – and I was completely heartbroken.
During the car ride home, I could hear Mac trembling in his crate. Shortly after, we discovered he was scared of our building’s elevator – as soon as we stepped inside, he began shaking uncontrollably and urinating. I believe the lab he was in also had a lab.
Reality hit me and I began to imagine the next weeks of my life – living with an angry, aggressive dog who was afraid of everything. But I was wrong. Despite the harm Mac suffered at the hands of humans, he just wanted what most of us do: to be loved.
Mac followed me everywhere, constantly wanting to catch me. He was sweet and curious with our other dogs and cats, friends, neighbors, and even complete strangers on the street. Despite being deprived of much, Mac still approached the world with tenderness.
It also became clear that Mac was not like other animals I had fostered or adopted. Shelter or street dogs at least got a chance to live as a dog and explore the world beyond the cage. However, dogs rescued from laboratories are used as test subjects.
Despite being almost seven years old, Mac was experiencing everything for the first time. He wasn’t potty trained, didn’t know how to climb stairs or walk on a leash and was afraid of – or uninterested in – most toys.
A few days after bringing him home, I saw him sitting under a small ray of sun on our living room floor and wondered if this was the first time he had felt the warm sun on him. Every small moment of learning and experiencing happiness seemed like a big achievement.
Before MAC, I thought I understood animal suffering through my work. more than this 3.7 million animals could be used in research in Canada by 2024 Alone—a staggering number that is impossible to process succinctly.
Frank Prieto, the scientist behind the controversial studies that induced heart attacks in dogs, sat down for an exclusive interview with CBC’s London Morning host Andrew Brown and defended the importance of his research. He also explained why the whistleblowers were wrong about the allegations.
But loving a former research dog brought him home in a way no numbers or reports ever could. Every trembling paw and every alert sniff reminded me of the fragility and resilience of these animals – and how much of their lives were stolen before they were given a second chance (if they were lucky enough to get one).
I’m not sure what would be more painful: knowing what Mac actually went through or not knowing and allowing your mind to fill in the blanks. All I know is that Mac gave me a gift. Being an advocate – working every day to change laws or corporate practices – can sometimes feel like a heavy burden. But loving Mac reminds me that the animals I fight for are all unique, and saving each one of them is, literally, saving the world for that one person.
Today, I’m happy to say that Mac is living an amazing second half of his story. I have officially adopted him and now he spends his days sleeping on a soft bed, running and playing with other dogs and enjoying the affection he has always clearly wanted. Holding him close, I’m reminded of his loneliness – and hope that one day, no animal like Mac will have to suffer for science.
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