I was a lifetime thrifter, committed to buy with the other hand. Then i became accustomed
This is the first person’s experience of column Jennifer Lovegrove, I was a lifetime thrifter who lives in Toronto. For more information about CBC’s first person stories, please View faq,
When I went home from work, I was a lifetime thrifter there were packages piles at my door. My partner was in my place. It was not time to open them, to try another thrift hall on Instagram, to try on new organizations. Worse than that, I could not accept that I had bought something else – this time certainly something right! – Despite the explosion of all neglected organizations from my wardrobe. Cringing, I shook the package under the couch and visually.
When I knew that I had a problem, more embarrassing than dangerous. This gradually occurred, while during the years between the epidemic and the age of 50, wearing ratty sweatpants. I was addicted to shopping.
As long as I can remember, I have been a thrifter. I grew up in a small town and loved the sale of the yard. As a child, I will try on my grandmother’s shoes and jewelry, and as a teenager I was thrilled to get new, hand-to-down from a fashionable aunt. In high school, we used to crawl in a car to agree to make vintage purchases in a nearby Hamilton.
When I was small, buying a second-hand was not only cheap, but a kind of fashion was a way that I expressed my creativity. Buying the specificity introduced; In the theater class, someone else will not be worn backwards with a 1960s paasley dress and a dead Kennadees band logo with Gum-Gan-Gan.
Decades later, with increasing awareness Adequate fashion role in climate crisisI became even more committed to buy with the other hand. Sites such as Swap, Thrift Store and Poshamark and Facebook Marketplace provided acquainted adventures of hunting and unique search, aligning with my values of stability.
But when the epidemic hit, my relationship for shopping changed. With the canceled or indefinitely plans, I was alone, depressed and had nothing to look forward. Learning to play drums helped, but a painful injury knocked me again.
Despite being not anywhere to wear new outfits, I started making myself happy by shopping.
It started, irony is that a local Facebook group is dedicated to fashionable consumption of the second -hand fashion, which not only provides great outfits, but also to shop to exercise as a bike ride.
I was still committed to the other hand fashion, but suddenly I did not get enough. When the package arrived, opening them increased my mood, but the lift was temporary. A vintage leather skirt hoped that I would participate in another concert someday, but it was not fit. Beautiful Kashmiri cardigan was a stolen but unbearable itching against my sensitive skin. I was a lifetime thrifter
Not only I was buying more than the clothes used, I also started buying new. If I was used something, but it was not in my shape or is not sold to someone else, I am obsessed, unable to go, stare at it as a victim. A pair of high -growing wide leg levy launched my enthusiasm in passion. Those used by Facebook were not quite fit, and although I often checked the poshmark for my size, I lost patience, finally committed suicide to buy them new.
Look Second-hand shopping cool among people focusing on stability:
Second-hand clothing shopping among people focused on stability is getting cold. It was gone that there are days of stigma around the thrifting – climate concerns are running the resale industry.
I should have stopped then; Instead I doubled. I hadn’t found the right dress yet, the style or look that would make me feel better.
My shopping – and credit card was out of loan – control. A used free people were practical. Did I need it in three colors? I was ashamed. Once committed to moral consumption, I will be contrasting. A hypocrite.
After the lockdown and separation followed me, my shopping addiction remained until I finally realized that I would become a shopkeeper that I had judged by most of my life unpleasant life: impulsive, disciplinary, informal.
Life change changed my shopping – again
The moment I found myself hiding the unplanned packages under the couch, he coincided with the dangerous changes of menopause. My body and my mood felt foreigner. I was a lifetime thrifter Nothing is fit and everything hurts. I was very bloated, I assured myself that it was an impeccable conception after a third-last menopause (it was not).
The body-sheming voice in my mind was fed by patriarchy and the heroin-chic promotion of the 1990s, came back to my youth. If only I can get some flattery – soft pants, rap dress, linen tunic – I will feel good again. I was a lifetime thrifter
I expressed displeasure over my body, but I felt bad to take care. Apparently I failed as a feminist if I would internal harmful fatfobia.
But once I stopped myself, I was able to see emotional layers.
As a young thrifter, I was expressing a creative and moral identity. During the epidemic, I was not buying the organization, I was buying Asha. After Perimenopose attacked my body, I was buying comfort.
I was trying to buy my past back.
That feeling made addiction less shallow, but it did not disappear. I still needed to curb the impulses and gain my confidence.I was a lifetime thrifter
Now, before clicking on the checkout button, I force myself to answer a series of questions: did I really need it, would it be final, would I have anything like that?
I (mostly) are avoiding temptation. Opposing the urge to buy the dress is a challenge that will solve all my problems; Accepting the body of my aging -I was a lifetime thrifter with its ups and downs sizes, random acne, sore throat and anxiety – is another.
New organizations do not best the acceptance of the body, but drums and cycling-physical activities that I like-a healthy mood-booster. So my inner critic is asking to shut down. I was a lifetime thrifter
Despite the best intentions, I learned how easily I can get away if I am not vigilant. I am still paying for all this, literally, but I am turning my old concert T-shirt into a new form, purifying my closet and feeling myself more.
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