I am childless by choice. Having my fallopian tubes removed at 30 helped me trust my gut

This first-person column is Lynn Paulin’s experience, For more information on CBC’s first-person stories, born and raised in P.E.I., please visit View FAQ,

“I want to have my tubes tied,” I said to the health care professional on the other end of the line.

“Is your husband not willing to undergo a vasectomy?” he answered.

The question got me thinking: “What does my husband’s desire to have a vasectomy have to do with the decision I want to make for my body?”

He outlined the advantages and disadvantages of tubal ligation (commonly known as tubal ligation) versus vasectomy. He explained that vasectomy is less invasive and easier to reverse if we change our minds.

But I wanted a form of permanent contraception. I didn’t want children and didn’t want to continue using birth control.

The most effective forms of temporary birth control This includes birth control pills, which in my experience come with a side effects pamphlet that’s about the size of a baby blanket when unfolded — and intrauterine devices (IUDs), which until this year were. Without insurance not covered in Prince Edward IslandCan you blame a girl for wanting peace of mind with a permanent solution?

The call concluded with a gynecological referral and a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. But perhaps it was because of my own preconceived notions that I took a defensive stance from the beginning.

There have been countless occasions when my decision not to have children has been challenged, questioned, disputed, or dismissed.

“why would you do that?”

“You’ll change your mind when you grow up.”

“Who will take care of you when you grow old?”

Those are just a few of the reactions I’ve received over the years to my expressed desire to remain childless. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has rolled her eyes at lectures about the joys of motherhood and how I would definitely regret it if I didn’t fulfill my biological imperative to have children (yes, someone actually said that to me).

Some people are born to become parents. My mother was among them. She often told me that she felt like her life didn’t really begin until she became a mother and this was reflected in the way she took care of my brother and me.

I admit that I am not one of them. For years I waited to suffer from “baby fever,” something these women, including my mother, assured me would happen as I grew up and watched many of my friends become parents.

Now in my 30s, the only fevers that bother me are traveling, going to concerts, and getting tattoos.

In my view, the child is an extension of you. They are your heartbeats existing outside your body and if you are not prepared to deal with every possible adversity that comes with being responsible for something so delicate, it is not worth the risk.

Although I didn’t inherit my mother’s phenomenal parenting tendencies, my brother certainly did. I suspected long before he had his own child that parenting was something he would excel at and watching the way he interact with his daughter confirmed it. I love my niece, but I also love handing her back to my brother at the end of the day.

For months, I waited for a call from the obstetrics and gynecology clinic in Charlottetown where I had been referred — all the while being flooded with news articles from south of the border. Highlights the regression of women’s rights and control over their bodily autonomy,

Although I have always felt relatively safe in Canada, the volatile political climate in the US made me anxious, and my own experience of terminating a pregnancy in my early 20s only heightened that anxiety.

More than a decade ago, I got pregnant despite having an IUD. Knowing that having an IUD could result in complications from pregnancy, I went to the emergency department. The pregnancy was confirmed and reported to be approximately four weeks gestation.

When the doctor came to talk to me about my options I was given a dire warning: continue or terminate the pregnancy and the baby would die. It felt like an attempt to blame me for terminating an unplanned pregnancy.

It wasn’t until I transferred to gynecology that the risks to my own health came into focus and I began to feel more like a human being than an incubator.

I realize now that experiences as a young woman in a vulnerable position shaped my perception of how women’s bodies are viewed by people in positions of power.

That’s why when the time came for my gynecological consultation, I sat in the waiting room, convinced I would be told I was too young, urged to talk to my husband about it or to take more time to think about the decision.

To my delight, I couldn’t have been more wrong. After discussing the reason for my visit, the doctor asked only three questions.

“Do you have children?”

“Do you want kids?

“are you healthy?”

My answers were accepted and a surgery date was promised as soon as it became available. I couldn’t believe it was that easy.

I realized that I had bought into the negative publicity that causes many women to give up their pursuit of reproductive freedom. Having to justify my decision not to have children for several years and hearing about the negative experiences of other women working in the health care system convinced me that I would face resistance—and not from health care professionals who actually supported my right to decide what was best for me and my body.

On July 4, 2025, exactly a month after my consultation, I underwent a laparoscopic procedure known as bilateral salpingectomy to remove both my fallopian tubes. It was a simple day surgery with minimal recovery time. I woke up from an hour-long nap with three small incision wounds, two diminished reproductive organs, and a sigh of relief.

Although I will never have children of my own, I am completely content with the joy I get from celebrating the achievements and triumphs of my nieces and my friends’ children. It is enough for me to play a positive supportive role in their lives, however I can. I am not forgetting the joys of parenthood. I’m watching it happen all around me every day, and then getting eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night.

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